Right Now

Right Now I am putting off going to bed, having just finished putting together my new desk chair and getting my room pretty much set up. There are still some last touches to do tomorrow and this weekend, but for now my room feels pretty home-y.

At church today, we talked a lot about how we have nothing but right now. We can spend our lives trapped by our regrets, and we can live our lives trapped by our longing for the future. Those two mindsets can induce a sort of paralysis. Instead, we should make the most of every moment we have. We can't do anything about 2 hours ago, or even 2 seconds ago. We can only do something about right now.

A woman at Wal-Mart stopped me as I was unloading the cart full of school supplies. "Are you a teacher?" She asked. When I affirmed that, yes, I am going to be a teacher, she beamed, hugged me, and congratulated me on my first year of school. She, too, is a teacher, though a veteran. She spoke to me about how much she loved school, and how much I was going to love being a teacher. Then, she said "My husband says to me, 'Teaching is not your profession. Teaching is your vocation.'"

I really stopped short at that, struck by how powerful that idea was. Teaching, for sure, is my job. It is what I will be doing for the next two years. But it isn't simply a job; for me, I believe God has called me to this work. That is the definition of vocation- something to which we are called; something set aside for us. I believe, with every bit of me, that the students at Einstein Charter School have been set aside for me, and I for them. I believe that God is going to give me the opportunity to impact my students, and for them to continue to break my heart for the weak and oppressed.

I know that there are exciting things on the horizon for me. After my two year commitment, I have already begun to think about where exactly God will take me next. It is so exciting to me that God loves me enough to allow me to do his will. That he has made a way for me to be where I can serve him. And I love trusting in him and resting in him and allowing him to move me where he will. I have always been able to hold my future with open hands as far as my vocation goes. I have always been excited about just where I may wind up; I don't set very concrete plans, as most of you know.

What I am realizing, is, I dream of the future at the risk of losing right now. Albus Dumbledore (yes, a completely fictional character, I know) said to Harry,

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

I love that; I am the consummate dreamer, head in the clouds a lot of the time. It is fine, and I believe that a lot of that longing and desire for things of dreams comes from the eternity which God has placed in us. But God has placed eternity in front of us in the Right Now. I will continue to dream the dreams God places in my head and my heart, but I will also dive into the right now. And Right Now, I need to go to bed so I can be ready to engage my fellow teachers tomorrow!